X is for X

I had one of those days that if I could have marked a big red “X” on the box on my calendar to mark it as over before it even began, I would have. I knew it was going to be a difficult day for many reasons.

First of all, it was going to place eXtreme demands on me socially. I would have to be “on” for hours, making small talk, smiling, having pictures taken, connecting… all in a setting where I am uncomfortable with some people that I don’t really care for.

Once those formalities were over, I would be in an intense meeting setting, interviewing prospective candidates with a group of people that I had not worked with long enough to get a real feel for their personalities outside of murk pressings based on my gut instinct. (My gut instinct is overwhelmingly accurate but that wasn’t reassuring enough to ease my anxiety.)

In the end, we chose the person I did not want, which will have a major impact on how we conduct business moving forward, making me question my position on this board. The evening ended with me feeling emotional, frustrated, undervalued, disrespected and judged. It was disheartening.

I’m struggling to look on the bright side and search out the positive. The day sucked all around. The best part of my day is that I am finally able to “X” if off as DONE!

And moving forward, on a positive note, tomorrow I will be visiting a cousin who I have not seen in a few years and spending time with a friend who I have spent a year seeing in passing, exchanging, “we need to catch up really soon!” But most best of all, this weekend we are going to visit my youngest son, Andrew, at school!