Detour

One year ago, I encountered this detour. I wasn’t sure if it was temporary or long-term. I thought I was prepared for anything. And although I like to think I rose to the challenge, I tend to beat myself up so I find it hard to shove the struggles aside and focus on the successes.

Separate from all of us finding a new normal that comes with its own stops and starts and bumps and bruises, we were pitched a few curve balls. Beej took three and a half to an entire new level. Two family members were hit with health issues that derailed everyone. Life hit us from all sides and we did our best. I did my best.
I don’t know what the next year holds but I’m as ready as one can be. My goals are to carve out time for myself and scheduled time to write- two separate but very important things.
More to come…

Dandelion Fuzz

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STOP

My plans for the fall have come to a halt. Or maybe just had to be revised. Due to circumstances beyond his control, my son finds himself needing some assistance in caring for CJ (almost 8) and Beej (approaching 3). Working a 24 on/48 off shift means that he needs more than just “keep an eye on the kids for a few hours” help. It requires at least two overnights and now that school has begun, on the average of three mornings getting CJ ready and off to school and then picked up and homework duty.

Cross Traffic Does Not Stop

Crossing the road both figuratively and literally can be quite tricky. I’m dealing with two children, who are quite precious to me, and although I know them almost as well as I knew their dad at these ages, I just never know what we will find around the…

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Life Happens…

dandelion on patio 7.2.17

I’ve been MIA for awhile now. It’s been a case of too many planets aligning, perhaps?

Loved one’s surgery and recovery

Big kid issues

Little kid issues

Visiting relatives

Family events

And more

I’ll be back very soon!

-One exhausted and overwhelmed but missing her blogging friends, her blog and writing Kat

 

“Everything”

My confession-

“Everything” by Alanis Morissette

I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it’s going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby and you’ve never met anyone
Who is as negative as I am sometimes

I am the wisest woman you’ve ever met.
I am the kindest soul with whom you’ve connected.
I have the bravest heart that you’ve ever seen
And you’ve never met anyone
Who’s as positive as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I’m ashamed
There’s not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I’m terrified and mistrusting
And you’ve never met anyone as,
As closed down as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I’m ashamed
There’s not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go

I’m the funniest woman that you’ve ever known
I’m the dullest woman that you’ve ever known
I’m the most gorgeous woman that you’ve ever known
And you’ve never met anyone
Who is as everything as I am sometimes

You see everything (you see everything), you see every part (you see every part )
You see all my light (you see all my light) and you love my dark (and you love my dark )
You dig everything (you dig everything) of which I’m ashamed (of which I’m ashamed)
There’s not anything (there’s not anything) to which you can’t relate (to which you can’t relate)
And you’re still here

(You see everything, you see every part)
And you’re still here
(You see all my light and you love my dark)
And you’re still here
(You dig everything of which I’m ashamed)
(There’s not anything to which you can’t relate)
And you’re still here…

Thanks for being here!

-Kat

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A Long Time Ago

Teen Kat is taking over to share an embarrassing moment. It took place 30+ years ago and she remembers it much better than I do.

HI! Teen Kat stepping in here. Last time you saw me I was giving the performance of my life in my basement but for today’s post, I dropped the microphone and I’m hanging out with a guy I think I like. He’s an old school bad boy. Think dark wavy hair, almost covering impenetrable brooding eyes, long and lanky in faded levis and a snug shirt. He is not my type and how I ended up here with him is another story. 

We have been walking around the mall and getting to know each other. He is doing more talking than me and he’s very patient with my awkward social skills. I can’t understand why he’s wasting time with me because I can see by the looks n the faces of passing girls that they would trade spots with me in seconds flat. And yet here I am. 

He buys me and ice cream cone and we go outside to sit on a bench to enjoy the beautiful day.  I’m trying to lick my ice cream in a lady-like manor and because I’m so worried about looking silly or getting ice cream on my face, I’m going about it slowly. Really, really slowly. 

So slowly that just as you would expect, the ice cream begins to melt. And now I’m trying to discreetly control the drips sliding down the cone, my hand, my arm……. and doing the most inept job of it! At the time he says nothing and pretends he doesn’t notice the glorious mess I’m making. I am a walking disaster that one crumpled ice cream drenched napkin cannot fix!! 

At that point, I have decided that I like this guy and I’m pretty sure I will never see him again because look at what an awkward mess I am! I wish for the ground to open and swallow me up. I want my ice cream cone to disappear because yes, believe it or not, I still have it! I want to cry. Oh man, this is not my finest moment. Most of all, I want to forget it ever happened. 

While Teen Kat scurries off to clean up, I’ll take the post back. I let Teen Kat tell the story because it makes me squirm to even think about it. It was that embarrassing. What makes it rank up there in my top 10 embarrassing moments is that bad boy ended up being present in my life to this day as a good friend and whenever he’s feeling feisty, he will ask me if I would like to get ice cream, reminding me that he was witness to such a fiasco. (And yes, it was that bad!!!)

How about you? Do you have an embarrassing moment you would like to share?

-Kat

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Hidden Talent

Day 26 of the 30 Day Blogging Challenge- Your Hidden Talent

This calls for bringing attention to myself- something I would rather not do. And not bringing attention to myself is something I do very well. In fact, at times I think I’ve perfected it to the level where I’m completely looked over in a group. I’ve noticed that when I want to be heard, I have to fight harder to get people to listen. While other people might clear their throat or make a gesture indicating they have something to say, my attempts at those same cues are ignored.

An unforeseen consequence is that I’ve had time to hone my observation skills. Somewhere along the way, I realized that I had the ability to read people. Sometimes it’s as easy as watching the expressions on their face or their words or body language. Other times it comes across as a vibe. I can’t put my finger on it but if something is off with a person, I can usually sense it.

You would think that this skill might come in handy when interviewing people to fill a position. Unfortunately, I found out early on that others don’t value this “talent” or trust a feeling. If I can clearly “see” that someone is going to be inflexible and opinionated  (whether based on their behavior or my less-trusted-by-others vibes), there are others who won’t believe it until they are in a meeting watching the person fight everyone at every turn and it’s too late.

I’ve learned to express my opinion and give examples supporting them, and then letting it go. It’s frustrating. It’s annoying. But at least I know that when push comes to shove, I gave everyone fair warning and I won’t be personally caught up in the melee.

So maybe it’s not a talent. Maybe it’s me being obnoxious and overly opinionated. Who knows? What I do know is that since I wear an invisibility cloak- not of my choosing- most people won’t be subjected to it. 🙂

Have a great day!

-Kat

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Cee’s Black & White Photo Challenge: Fire Prevention

This week’s topic for Cee’s Black & White Photo Challenge: Fire Prevention is right up Beej’s alley. He is our resident authority on the subject, being a fire fighter in training.

bw fire gear

bw fire prevention

bw fire engine

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Thanks for stopping by!

-Kat