Cee’s Black & White Photo Challenge: Flowers

Black and white photos of flowers are fascinating. Although color photos are stunning, it’s those easy to miss details that really catch my eye and those are seen best in black and white. At least, that’s what I think!

bw white flower

bw hyacinth

bw tulip

Cee’s Black & White Photo Challenge: Flowers

Have a great week!

-Kat

 

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Raindrops

raindrops

I’ve been keeping a low profile for the past month and from the looks of what our weather has been like, I did not miss much! If I’m not mistaken, it has rained around 90% of the last 30 days!! I haven’t really paid much attention to the weather lately because I recently underwent two separate eye surgeries. Because of the nature of my eyes (incredibly outrageously near-sided), I’ve been advised to proceed with caution. My recovery and restrictions have been twice as long as the average person. While I’m waiting for my new vision to fine-tune itself, I’ve done little reading and writing. I’ve only recently ventured on to my laptop for short periods of time and my iPad time has been quite limited. In addition to my eyes figuring out when they are going to decide to play nicely together, I’m very sensitive to average to bright lights, screens and skies. I’ve been advised to give my eyes more time before looking into glasses to help. Until then, while the rainy days don’t necessarily help me see, they don’t hurt!

-Kat

photosjune-1

 

 

Photo a day Challenge- Raindrops

Listening to Inner and Outer Voices- Take 2

Today I’m sharing a post that I originally published just over four years ago. I had forgotten I wrote it but as I read it again, it really hit home with me. If I had the time and eyes, I could have written this last week. I’ve made a few small changes but it’s pretty close to the original text. 

Originally published May 13, 2015

Every Wednesday, Ronovan invites us to Be Wonderful on Wednesday. This is my contribution. It’s not quite what I had planned but that’s the way these things go.

The evening before my birthday,  a family member wrote a very moving post dedicated to me on Facebook. I was tired, emotional and blown away after reading her words.

She described me as- giving, non-judgmental, open minded, kind hearted and caring. She used words like inspirational and blessing. Me. Inspirational. A blessing. She talked about how I’ve been there for everything from breakdowns and tantrums to hospital trips. She used a bunch of other adjectives that I won’t even mention- because I just don’t see myself that way. My initial reaction was an overwhelming feeling of love for the beautiful person who wrote it. I re- read the words and they hit me in the face. This moving tribute was not how I would have described myself.

“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.”  -Brene Brown

If I can be completely open with you, lately I would describe myself as angry, unrealistic, interfering, stubborn, overly sensitive. I’ve questioned every move I’ve made.

The truth of the matter is that the only words I hear are the ones in my head. Although I try to be all the things described in that post, that’s not how I see myself.

In fact, because my inner voice is so loud it drowns out the outer voice of my family member.

“It’s not what you are that holds you back, it’s what you think you are not.”

-Denis Waitley

Needing something more and unclear on what it was, I showed her post to a friend.  He read it and nodded. I shrugged, tried to smile, failed. Is that really me? was my unasked question.

He stared at me and said, “It’s true. And you should be hearing this way more often than you probably do.” His voice was gruff and he changed the subject.

I’ve looked at that post so many times since she first posted it. I’m trying to drown out the litany of negative thoughts- the ones that accompany every doubt I have when I read the words.

“Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re right.” -Henry Ford

It made me think. How often do we walk around thinking positive, inspirational and affirmative thoughts to ourselves about ourselves? Well, I’ve just confessed that I don’t. In fact, if my inner voice were a person I would not want to hang out with her. She’s a real downer. And yet, I listen to her and I doubt it when someone tells me nice things about myself.

I think it’s important to maintain a healthy balance between the inner and outer voices. While it’s important to be realistic, there’s no real benefit from allowing your inner voice to beat you up and drag you down. Nor should you allow someone’s outer voice to do the same.

And when someone tells you that you are kind or caring or the backbone of the family or even inspirational, you should take it as the gift that it is. You should realize that people don’t waste their time trying to make you feel good like that if they don’t care an awful lot. And you should embrace those outer voices close to you and let them drown out that negative reel that might play in your head occasionally.

I originally wanted to write a post about her lovely words because they made me feel pretty wonderful and loved. But possibly even more importantly, her words made me very aware of the not so pretty  things I allow to run through my head and the realization that it needs to stop. I’m not sure if I will ever feel comfortable accepting compliments from people but it’s time for me to realize that maybe…just maybe they are right!

What about you? Are you able to accept compliments and embrace them? Or do you sometimes battle with that negative voice that pops up in my head at times? 

Peace and Love,

-Kat

 

 

Just an average day…

bw oddball hands

Today-

-I dropped the kids off at school, one of the few times I’ve been able to do it in recent weeks.  I only held up the drop off line a little bit while handing off 4 year old Beej to his teacher.

-While waiting for pre-k to end, I stood in front of school and chatted with a mom and the crossing guard about tomatoes and peppers- growing them and storing them– two things I don’t actually do.

-I had the sweetest afternoon with Beej. He was thrilled beyond words when he found out that I had bought more “sprinkle eyes” for his lunch. He instructed me on how to make the perfect sandwich, complete with eyes and sprinkles for hair that he wanted to look just like mine. He felt that I did an accurate representation of  recreating my hairstyle and now you understand why it was an accomplishment for me to even go out in public let alone speak to someone with hair that looks like that!

-Beej and I watched a new episode of Arthur, you know, the aardvark. Unlike his older brother CJ, much older and all knowing at the ripe old age of nine, Beej was fine with the idea that Arthur has remained eight years old for the past 22 years.

-I was able to sit down and read, like, and even comment on some posts!!!! before my eyes called it quits.

-I found time to write this post- something that doesn’t happen often lately- or if it does, my eyes are not up to the task of reading or writing.

To some these might seem like small things, but for me they are huge. Considering everything, it seemed like almost a normal day. It gave me hope. And that’s enough.

Cee’s Black & White Photo Challenge- Hands, Feet or Paws

Kammie’s Oddball Challenge 5/16/19

Have a great day!

-Kat

Meanwhile…

bw eyes…while life was busy burying me, I realized that I had an A to Z Challenge to complete. As I tried to claw my way out of this hole, I noticed that there were challenges that seemed to all line up so I could tie things together nicely and almost totally put the lid on them.

As April came to a close, things ramped up with my loved one and all of my time and energy was spent with those matters. Needless to say, this resulted in my U and X of the A to Z Challenge. My life was momentarily and permanently turned UPSIDE DOWN as I experienced the EXIT of one phase of my life and the beginning of another. Still processing and dealing with major changes in my life, I barely had time to catch my breath before I needed to address my eye issues once again.

This time, it was in the form of a surgery to repair problems that have been plaguing both eyes for years. This surgery had been scheduled a few months ago so I knew there was no putting it off. The strain on my eyes over the past years has taken it’s toll. I’m nearing the halfway point now- halfway between the first eye surgery recovery and the prep for the second. Although I know in the end I will be happy that I went through this and amazed at my newfound ability to SEE, right now I’m just kinda bummed out. It’s been a difficult year and being near the halfway point of eye shenanigans has shown me what I can expect for the other half. I am at a point where my vision isn’t awesome if I look out of both eyes at the same time…… so things like reading and writing are a challenge. (Please disregard any errors in this post…..thanks!) Factor in my terror at anything being done to my eyes,  and you might understand why it’s all kind of getting to me. And this is where the Y comes in- YOUR VIEW, which from here is not very clear! As you can see from the lovely glasses that I’ve had to wear for the past week, it’s a good thing I didn’t feel well or else I would have been running all over town showing off those cool shades!! Of course, my driver (because I’ve been under a no-driving restriction) would probably be less than thrilled with my adventures… 

Meanwhile, this post is almost to its breaking point with all the challenges it is covering!

bw ari from the side
Here is Ari- doing her part for Cee’s “from the side” challenge!

A to Z Challenge- U, X, Y

Cee’s Black & White Challenge- From the Side

FOWC- Meanwhile

Stream of Consciousness Saturday- Strain

 

So, what have you been up to lately?

Wishing you a happy week!

-Kat