Cee’s Black & White Photo Challenge: Bikes

Here are my selection of bikes for Cee’s Black & White Photo Challenge: Bikes.

bw bike riding

bw bikes in garage

bw bike sculpture

bw bikes


Looking forward to warmer weather when we can get those bikes out and ride!



Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge: Sunset to Sunrise

“Sunrise paints the sky with pinks and the sunset with peaches. Cool to warm. So is the progression from childhood to old age.” -Vera Nazarian

january sunrise
January sunrise
Cloudy sunrise a
June sunrise while on the road
july sunset
July sunset

These photos are my best attempts at capturing sunrises and sunsets. Something tells me I will be on an endless pursuit for the perfect picture.

Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge: Sunset to Sunrise

cee's fun foto badge

Have a great day!


Where Did Compassion Go?

“True compassion means not only feeling another’s pain but also being moved to help relieve it.” -Daniel Goleman

Have you ever been so moved to speak out about something that it overwhelmed you- rendering you speechless? I have found myself in that place.

I have seen a trend occurring in support groups on social media. People, looking for support and understanding while they work their way through something they are experiencing with their loved one, are attacked by others in the same position. This attack takes on the forms of bullying, judging, accusing and reprimanding. It is wrapped up in the deceptive package of “tough love” or “just trying to set you straight” or some other helpful reason. And in some cases, I believe that the person truly means well. But more often, that is not the case.

When a parent is navigating something new and possibly unexpected with their child, and it can be anything from lgbt issues, health issues, learning disabilities…. whatever….., it’s rough. It can take time to process feelings, educate yourself, and get yourself on track. Everyone moves at their own speed and there is no right or wrong way to do it.

What one person easily accepts might be difficult for another to wrap their head around. Someone might be familiar with the topic and another person might have never even heard the words before. Often people are misinformed. So many may be feeling as if their world changed overnight and they are unsure how to move forward. Regardless, if they are searching for support and find themselves in a group surrounded by others in their situation, they are going to hope that these are friendly faces. If they are me (6 years ago), they are praying to find some friendly faces. Some kindness, compassion and support. To know that they are not alone.

At this point, if you’ve stuck with me, I’m sure you are thinking, ‘Kat, could you be any more vague?’

Let me give you an example- My middle child, Kris, is gender-fluid. Kris uses they, them, their pronouns.

Six and a half years ago, my middle child, Kerri, came out as transgender, and she transitioned to Kris, my son. A few years into this transition, Kris began showing more feminine traits and we discovered that Kris identified more as genderqueer or non-binary. Pronouns changed to they, them, their and gender descriptive words such as son and daughter were removed from our vocabulary. As time passed, Kris’s gender appeared to be more fluid with times where they were female and Kris temporarily used she, her, hers pronouns. The feminine period lasted for what seemed like a long time but in reality was a blink of the eye and Kris’s appearance morphed more into a cross between masculine and feminine with pronouns changing back to they, them, their. Kris has been our leader, as they should be, because it is their life, after all.

It’s quite a journey and I’ve shared parts of it here in this blog. Writing is my therapy and if I can help another parent who is in my position feel a little less alone, then it’s definitely worth it to put myself out there.

That paragraph up there, the one telling you about Kris….it’s a safe paragraph. If I was to post that in any of the many groups that I’m in for support, I am confident that the reaction would quite benign. There might be some “likes” and a few welcoming comments.

BUT, here are a few facts about us…my family and Kris:

We do not use the term “dead name” when referring to Kris before they transitioned. Kerri is Kris’s BIRTH name- the name given at birth. Kris went by the name Kerri and lived as our daughter for 18-1/2 years. Kerri is not dead- she’s just not here. Parts of her live on in Kris but not all of her. We don’t go out of our way to talk about Kerri or once having a little girl, but there are times when it makes more sense. And quite honestly, I love Kris. I loved Kris when they were Kerri. I loved Kris when they used male pronouns and I loved Kris when they used female pronouns. I love Kris. My sons grew up with Kerri. She is part of the foundation of their entire childhood and our family’s story. None of that takes anything away from Kris or our love for Kris. We have all talked about it and if Kris expressed that we do it differently, we would do it in a heartbeat.

There are pictures of Kris growing up displayed in our house. They show who Kris was. For awhile, Kris didn’t want anything up that showed them as a girl and I respectfully removed them all, only leaving out the ones that Kris approved. Time passes and Kris was okay with a few coming back out. I was so glad that I didn’t get rid of all of them.

Sometimes I miss my daughter. I suspect I always will. I realize that I probably miss the idea of her more than the reality of her. I’m okay with that. And for those months last year it felt like she was back. And if you look back at that time, you’ll find that I didn’t write much. I hope to be able to write about that time someday because I think it’s important for other parents of gender-fluid kids to hear about it. Even in the land of parents of transgender kids there are some who believe in the gender binary and I think that some of my unresolved feelings in that area floated to the surface during Kris’s recent girl stage. So, sometimes I miss my daughter and IT IS OKAY! It does not detract from my love for Kris.

Because my child’s gender is fluid, my experiences and emotions are also going to be fluid. They won’t follow a “female to male” norm. And someone else’s experience with a gender-fluid child could be (and most likely is) completely different than mine.

If I was to post some of these things in the support groups I’ve mentioned, there’s a pretty good chance I could find myself under attack. I’ve been seeing it happen regularly to some unsuspecting person who is trying to figure out which way is up and they use the wrong pronouns or their child’s birth name because they aren’t ready to let go. Don’t get me wrong— these groups are filled with kind, gentle, loving people who are quick to support and compassion—- but when you are feeling like you can’t keep your head above water, it’s the cutting words of the others- those are the ones that make you slip down lower. If you are new to this world, you don’t know any better and to be harshly reprimanded and accused of “dead naming” your child? Of not being supportive? Of being selfish because you need support and you thought you were in a safe place at a time when nothing feels quite right?

I don’t post these things because I don’t need to. I’ve worked through this. I’ve had countless conversations with Kris about the Do’s and Don’ts.

If I encounter someone who has set off a war unintentionally, I will be quick to reassure them and support them and let them know that what they are feeling, doing, saying, is okay. I will not engage in combat though. I realize that someone has to. But right now, I’m fully entrenched in two other ongoing battles that are consuming all of my energy.

What’s the point here? I don’t know. I can’t help but refer back to the title- Where did compassion go?

I’m posting without editing because if I do, this will sit in the shadows with so many other drafts. I apologize for typos- this is me in this moment and one day, I know that I will come back and edit it.

Peace and Love,




spring quote


Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge: Leaves or Trees

Winter is persisting and our trees remain bare for the time being so I had to look back in my files, yet again, for my contribution to Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge: Leaves or Trees.

tree by lake
Tree by the lake
autumn leaf
Autumn leaf
crunchy leaf
Crunchy leaves

cee's fun foto badge

I can’t wait to see leaves on the trees again!




Pick Up a Book and Read!

seussA note from Kat- I’m still more down than up in my never ending recovery and here is the proof. I thought I was on the upswing and wrote this post…..and never published it. But it might be a good thing I did because I just caught a typo- the horror! So, better late than never–

In 1997, the NEA (National Education Association) created Read Across America. This initiative is to encourage reading and it is celebrated each year on March 2nd, the birthday of one of the most popular authors of children’s book- Dr. Seuss.

In honor of one my personal favorite authors, I would like to share a few Dr. Seuss quotes:

  • “You’re never too old, too wacky, too wild, to pick up a book and read to a child.”
  • “You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step, step with care and great tact and remember that life’s a great balancing act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.”
  • “Don’t give up. I believe in you all. A person’s a person no mater how small.”
  • “And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed)”
  • “You’ll miss the best things if you keep your eyes shut.”
  • “If things start happening, don’t worry, don’t stew, just go right along and you’ll start happening too.”

Do you have a favorite Dr. Seuss quote or book? Dr. Seuss has made many appearances on my blog. He made my list- 10 Favorite Books I Read to My Children When They Were Young and last year, I shared more favorites with ““Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.” This year Dr. Seuss’s Sleep Book tops three year old Beej’s favorites list. And you better remember to include “Dr. Seuss” at the beginning of the title or else you’ll face the wrath of my little B!

Happy Belated Birthday, Dr. Seuss! Thank you for filling our lives with so many great hours spent reading fun books! If you haven’t done so already, it’s not too late to pick up a book and read to a child!! You can never start instilling a love of reading too soon.




Cee’s Black & White Photo Challenge: Double Letters

My contribution to Cee’s Black & White Photo Challenge: Double Letters is an odd assortment- inside, outside, food and a toy.

Sir Topham Hatt (aka The Fat Controller)
bw sth

Waterfallbw waterfall

Caboosebw caboose

Pumpkin Seeds

bw pumpkin seeds


I hope your day is filled with sunshine!



Cee’s Black & White Photo Challenge: Structure

After an unexpected absence, I’m making a second attempt to return to my blog. Five weeks ago, I felt perfectly fine. Okay, maybe a little tired, but otherwise healthy and good. 24 hours later, while on the phone with my friend, I began coughing. Right before the first cough- that was the last time I felt good. I had a few false starts over the past month but I finally feel like I’m turning a corner and on the road to recovery- yay!

There’s so much I have to say. (I’ve written some amazing posts in my head…) I’m hoping to get it all written but until then, I’m starting off slowly, yet again. I can’t think of a better place to begin than Cee’s Black & White Photo Challenge: Structure. 

bw boston structurebw hideout

bw dorm


Have a great day! I hope you are staying healthy!!



Cee’s Black & White Photo Challenge: Patterns

I went to my archives for Cee’s Black & White Photo Challenge: Patterns.

vacuum patterns
Vacuum cleaner
bw wire basket
Wire basket



Thanks for stopping in!



Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge: Y

For Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge- Letter Y– starts or ends with the letter Y, I’m going with-

 a group or collection of different items; a mixture.
silly ornament
SillY ornament
SpikY collar
johnny west
JohnnY West
sparkly decorations
SparklY decoration

cee's fun foto badge

Have a great day!