J is for Journey #AtoZChallenge

“Life is a journey to be experienced, not a problem to be solved.”

winnie the pooh/ a.a. milne

And herein lies the problem itself. There will be times when we encounter problems that need to be solved as we trek along our journey. But every step doesn’t need to be a problem. And it doesn’t need to be solved.

I’m still learning to live with this idea. Looking back I realize that I spent too much time fussing and worrying about something that should have just been left as it is and experienced. I’m in the middle of what can only be described as a maelstrom but if I force myself to step back and look at it, I can see that I just have to live it- not solve it.

I have a friend who will text me and ask what’s been going on in my life. When I tell her that my life is pretty boring, with nothing much to report, she never believes me. But it’s true. Ask me what’s happening in my kids’ lives? I’ve got lots to tell. But my own personal life? Well, if you read yesterday’s post you know that I huddled under a blanket with Beej looking at a projection on the “ceiling” of our hideout while listening to a story. That was it. Oh yes, and I had a meltdown over things I cannot control. That was fun- NOT- and totally unproductive.

I’m working on a few things- like stepping back to evaluate where my head is and what is bugging me. I’m pushing myself to write. I want to write. I know I want to write. I have words running through my head all the time and let me tell you, up there– I’ve written some really good stuff! Haha. I’m going to focus on the people and things that make me happy. I’m going to create. Whether it’s words, music, or art (and I use the word loosely), that’s when I’m most at peace. I’m going to do more enjoying and less worrying.

In other words- I’m going to experience my life. Thanks for the words of wisdom, Pooh!

A to Z Challenge- J

Peace and love,

-Kat

I is for Impossible #AtoZChallenge

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” 

-winnie the pooh/ a.a.milne

Even nothing is something. Unfortunately Pooh, and sometimes we ourselves, are quick to attribute the smallest things to doing nothing. I’ve had plenty of days where I might not have booked hours of “did something” moments but looking back I can see that what I accomplished was even more important.

Sitting under a comforter with my grandson listening to stories and watching the projection of stars in the dark might not seem like much. And I’ll admit there were times when I wasn’t sure how I was going to stand up when the story ended because my left foot felt like a lead block. But huddled under that blanket sharing that time with Beej banked time where I was hopefully giving him a sense of security and stability that he would remember when things get rough.

From the outside, my last seven years might seem like a lot of doing nothing. I passed up working outside my home to help out with my grandsons and when Covid changed everything, it was a good thing I was home because there was no one else to handle remote learning while my son was at work. This wasn’t what I thought I would be doing at this stage of my life- a second round of raising kids- but in the beginning, I did it to help my son. And let’s be honest, the first time I looked into baby Beej’s eyes, I was hooked. I knew I would do whatever was needed for this little guy who is leaving little kid status at seven. Little did I know how much both he and his daddy would need me.

I’m finding ways to sneak some “somethings” into my nothing days. And on those days I appear to do nothing, it might look that way but I know the truth.

I was able to apply my parenting experience to my present-day activities.

My buddy and I have a stronger than the usual grandma/grandson bond.

I’m being tested in ways I never imagined and learning things about myself I didn’t know existed.

Nothing is possible. And it’s a good thing. A much needed thing from time to time.

A to Z Challenge: I

Have a great day!

-Kat

E is for Exciting #AtoZChallenge

“When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,” said Piglet at last, “what’s the first thing you say to yourself?” “What’s for breakfast?” said Pooh. “What do you say, Piglet?” “I say, I wonder what’s going to happen exciting today?” said Piglet. Pooh nodded thoughtfully. “It’s the same thing,” he said.

winnie the pooh & piglet/ a.a.milne

I love Pooh’s passion for food. I wish I had it. I’m more in the Piglet camp. I often wonder what the day is going to bring. And if it will be exciting. Although…. these days I consider it a good day if nothing happens!

A to Z Challenge: E

Hope you have an exciting day!

-Kat

A is for Adventure #AtoZChallenge

You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.

-winnie the pooh/ A. A. Milne

This seemed like an appropriate quote to kick off the Blogging A to Z Challenge. I’ve been hunkered down in my corner of the forest for two years now and it’s time for me to venture back out into the world. As much as I’ve enjoyed being a homebody and taking advantage of the pandemic as an excuse to not go anywhere, it’s getting a bit stale. I need something new. An adventure would be the perfect thing to liven things up.

I have made a few baby steps in this direction. We are going to a family birthday party this weekend. I have plans to go see a live show of one of my favorite podcasts that is coming to a nearby city. I ate in a restaurant last week!!!

While these might seem like small things, for me and my best friend, Anxiety, this is huge. And to clarify, I’ve always struggled with varying degrees of anxiety but this one is a new one. It’s pandemic-related. It took me by surprise. I guess I expected to reach a point where I felt comfortable being around many people in public settings and I would do it. That hasn’t been the case. I’m okay with the things I did regularly for the last two years but I struggle with being around people who are not wearing masks.

I’m working on it. I’m talking with people about it. I’m using coping strategies. I’m saying no when it’s too much. I’ll get there.

Until then, I’ll take baby steps out of my corner of the forest to the place where the others are. I know I’ll get there and Adventure will be waiting.

Happy Weekend!

-Kat

G is for Gang…The Sugarhill Gang #AtoZChallenge

“Now what you hear is not a test, I’m rapping to the beat…”

In 1979 I was fifteen, which means I was just reaching my stride as a teenager. “Rapper’s Delight” was my favorite song. It was performed by the Sugarhill Gang and it was the first rap song to make the Top 40 list on the Billboard Hot 100. The Sugarhill Gang was comprised of Michael “Wonder Mike” Wright, Henry “Big Bank Hank” Jackson, and Guy “Master Gee” O’Brien. The group broke up in 1985 but went on to reunite in 1999 and perform again in a 2016 world tour.

Back in 2014 I participated in a song challenge and I featured this song. Looking back at the post, I liked it so I decided to dust it off and share it here.

Today’s song is “Rapper’s Delight” by Sugarhill Gang. This is an American rap song from 1979. It was hard to come up with a song that reminds me of my most recent ex-boyfriend when I’ve been married forever and a day. I consider the song a classic- the epitome of everything rap music should be. (I can already hear my friend, John, groaning loudly…) I can’t help it. This song gets me singing rapping every time I hear it.

The guy this reminds me of is Rob. This song was popular at the local hangout where I met Rob. He wasn’t necessarily a fan of the song, but it was one of my favorites and he knew that. We remained friends all these years and a few years ago he called me when it was playing on the radio. I could barely hear his voice over the music he had turned up to its loudest volume. “Can you hear that?” he shouted.

“Yes!” I yelled back even though I don’t think it was necessary. I heard a few seconds of music until it suddenly cut off. Then Rob’s voice was back in my ear. “I had to call you when I heard that song.”

My curiosity was piqued. “Why?”

“Every time I hear this song, I think of you.”

I smiled and I’m sure it showed in my voice. “Is that a good thing?”

And as always, I was sure he was grinning to accompany the sincere, “Yeah!”

It warmed my heart. This was a glimpse of the Rob I had fallen for as a teenager all those years ago. And since that day, every time I hear this song, I think of him, too. 🙂

Working my way through my 1970’s has brought back many long-forgotten memories. Each day bounces me to a different age, my own personal time machine. Today’s Kat was the always awkward shy girl but she was growing up and changing. She was no longer a child but a teenager. A gawky skinny teenager who had just cut her long hair to her shoulders!! Skin tight straight leg jeans were the thing. (Now they are called skinny jeans and boy does spandex help!) Makeup was new and exciting. Way too many hours spent curling hair with a curling iron and plastering it with hairspray only to have it fall straight within a few even shorter hours. But what fun!

Oh, and Rob? Our kids have grown up together. We’ve shared weddings. And now we are at the grandkid stage. Maybe not boyfriend material, Rob is an irreplaceable friend.

This post is part of Blogging from A to Z- G.

Peace and love,

-Kat