O is for Oh

My husband, also Kris’s dad, and I were catching up on American Idol last night. I remember a time when I wouldn’t have had to specify that the man I was married to was also the father of my children. Times really have changed, haven’t they? Anyway, back to the topic…

If you haven’t been watching, then you might not be aware of who Joey Cook is. She is a quirky one-of-a-kind 23 year old young woman. Her hair seems to change color each week. Her sense of style is incredibly unique. She has a strong sense of self. You can watch her last performance right here:

When she finished, I turned to my husband and said, “I wonder if that’s what Kris would have been like if he had been born a girl. Like Joey Cook.”

He gave me a quizzical look, then stared at the tv screen for a second in silence.

Quick side note: My son, Kris, is transgender- born with a female body, identifies as male.

I was unsure if I wasn’t being clear enough or if he did not agree with what I said so I continued, “We’ll never really know what Kris would have been like if he was actually a girl. Think about it. All the girl traits and girly things that he did that are gone- those weren’t really Kris. When he came out and began living as male, a lot of those things disappeared.”

At this point I paused to see if I was making sense. He was nodding slowly.

“The part of him that was Kerri was what he needed to do to survive as a girl. Maybe if he had been born a girl in a girl’s body, he would have been totally different. I just wonder if he would have been like-” and I let my voice trail off as I turned back to the paused image of Joey Cook on the tv screen.

Finally, he uttered his first word since I had paused the show-

“Oh.”

And he nodded.