Life is what happens…

I am trying to change the way I look at the world, my life, everything. After almost a year of having my son and his family under our roof, they have moved into their own new home. I am happy for them. And worried for them.

My life took an unexpected turn almost a year ago and I can’t help feeling like I lost something. But I received a precious gift and that was seeing the daily changes in baby Beej as he grew from infant to toddler. I will miss CJ’s endless chatter and perpetual motion that a 6 year old brings to a house. But boy will I relish the quiet!

My blog took a serious hit this past year and I felt it deeply and thought about it often. I had a difficult time completing any task, let alone a train of thought that was developing into a good post. In the silence of my house (before Andrew woke up), I’ve started this post 3 separate times.

I now have time to write…well, I have some time. That’s the thing about life.

You spend all this time- at least I feel like I did- thinking “when this happens….” or “after this…” and so much is going on while you are waiting.

As Michael moved his family and their belongings to their new house, we received news of two loved ones- one with a possible serious mental illness, the other with a cancer diagnosis. While my husband, kids and little guys are all safe and healthy, these two hits are close to home. I am sad that people we care about are suffering. I am concerned for both of them.

And I’m reminded how precious life is.

In the coming weeks I will be working on my blog and my new sanctuary. I will be spending time with the college kids before they leave. I will be re-connecting with family and friends.

I will be sure that the life I’m living while I’m “busy making other plans” is meaningful.

But boy, I’ll miss the lego guys who randomly appeared throughout my house, the hunt for the pacifier at nap/bed time and retrieving the remote from out of reach locations.

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The Crux

Crux. What a cool word! It just came to me. Or maybe I read it somewhere and it jumped off the page shouting, “Hey! Looking for me?”

crux
krəks,kro͝oks/
noun
noun: crux
  1. the decisive or most important point at issue.
    “the crux of the matter is that attitudes have changed”
    synonyms: nub, heart, essence, central point, main point, core, center, nucleus, kernel;

    informalbottom line
    “with whom John will be living is the crux of the situation”

Regardless, it is the perfect word to describe this post by my friend, Charissa.

What I Wish Every Person Knew

text

If the person who sent you this text was someone who claims unconditional love and support for you (to your mother and all others) but had not contacted you at all in the past year, how would you feel about this text? Kris elected not to respond.

As Kris’s mom, I have issues with this text- then again, I have many issues with the sender so this should be no surprise.

My point is—the crux is— how can Kris feel supported or accepted by this behavior? Kris has not heard from the sender again. But in the sender’s mind, she has already mentally checked Kris off  her to-do list and added this task to her “signs I support Kris” list. And in my head, at the time she texted I see a scene in my head of her watching tv, having a beer or two, a commercial for that Jenner interview comes on AGAIN and her thinking, “Damn! I probably should text K…” And seconds later, she’s engrossed in her show again, Kris all but forgotten.

How would you feel if you received this as the only contact you got from someone who touts herself as a very supportive person?

Is it really that difficult to text, e-mail, call? To make a real effort to connect with another human being, one you have known his entire life and say that you love?

*This text was sent before “the interview” aired.