Goodbye, May!

mask

This really is the time that introverts have been training for all of their lives!

I blinked and it was gone. The month. Which is pretty hilarious considering time has slowed down so much it’s ridiculous. I’m fairly certain that each day has doubled in hours, if not more. I clearly remember the last day life felt normal. March 13th. Yes, Friday the 13th. I guess I should have taken that as a sign! And I know where the month of May went. It was consumed by that all too familiar thief of the times- The Virus. I can just picture it in my head…. like a secret agent complete with dark glasses, trench coat, dark hat pulled low over his forehead sneaking in the steal away with the month of May tucked under his arm.

After that day, while restrictions piled up on a daily, if not even more often, basis, normal everyday life just slipped away. In those early days I battled with anxiety in a way I had never experienced in my life. Luckily I got that under control and these days although it creeps up on my from time to time, I’m usually able to get a lid on it.

The thing is, I understood the need for the restrictions. They were for our own good. To keep us safe. To save lives. Maybe I wouldn’t die if I had it, but the at risk members of my family quite easily could. So logically I got it. Unfortunately in those early days, my anxiety did not.

In the months that have followed, I’ve discovered so many things. Here are just a few-

  • I learned that e-learning is the pits and I’m so glad I didn’t have to deal it with my own kids when they were in the 5-10 year age group!
  • It’s really easy to lose track of time. Although my month of May was stolen, I’m never sure what day of the week it is and I spend a lot of time checking the calendar, as if it’s going to shout out a message, “Welcome, Kat- today is Sunday!”
  • Living by Zoom meeting is a totally different experience than life before zooming.
  • It’s easy to get caught up in shopping online and spend, spend, spend.
  • If I didn’t want unexpected visitors before, I REALLY don’t want any visitors now.
  • I’ve never been so suspect of people that I thought I trusted. Face coverings and social distancing…. this one took me by surprise. In 2-1/2 months we have only had one person inside our house who is outside our 5 person circle. And the only house I’ve been in besides my own is my dad’s. Keeping him safe and inside (meaning not out in public) has been a challenge. (He touches everything and then his face.)
  • I found out what was truly essential.
  • My worry for the 2/3 of my kids who continued to work throughout grew in epic proportions. Both were essential workers- a first responder and store cashier.
  • Although my state has moved into the next Phase, I’m not ready. What little I’ve seen in the past two days causes me major concern. Face coverings and social distancing are being thrown by the wayside. For more reasons than I could list, people are desperately trying to grab onto their former lives and freedoms. I am not.

And last and most important of all-

  • While the world was shut down, life kept moving. There were birthdays, births, graduations, health issues, pet health issues…. some passed by with little fanfare and others will be celebrated like crazy when it truly is safe to do so.

And so, I’m saying goodbye to May and holding on to hope that June is filled with better things!

Please stay safe!

-Kat

Fandango’s One Word Challenge- thief

Ragtag Daily Prompt- For our good

Photo a day challenge- Goodbye May

 

 

 

 

Out My Back Door

Dreaming of the day when this is what I see when I look out my back door!

rdp out my back door

Colors and Letters Challenge- Ends with an S “outdoors”

Photo a Day Challenge- Optimistic 

RDP- Looking Out My Backdoor

Have a beautiful day!

-Kat

A Post Without a Title

I listen intently to her story about the plushie that she desperately wanted. It was a unicorn- fresh, new, soft, sparkly and purple. I hear her describe how she felt when she saw it. Her face shows the joy and delight she felt when she relives the moment her grandmother surprised her with it. She reveals that she also received a plushie that had been her mother’s. This plushie shows signs of wear and tear and years of love. It is an puppy, with brown faded paws and flat worn fur.  Before it became hers, it was kept in a box of her mother’s things. But now the old and new plushies are precious to her. They comfort her when she’s feeling lonely. With a tinge of sadness creeping around the corners of her eyes and the edges of her words, she shares that her mother died a long time ago.

Although I had suspected this, I struggle to swallow the lump in my throat that has grown from the size of a plum to that of a grapefruit in mere seconds. My heart misses a beat and I give her a tender smile.

She is only seven years old.

butterfly candle holder

 

“I’ll silently stand in the corner and cry, on this fateful day.

I refuse to say goodbye because I don’t want to see you go away.”

-Author Unknown

 

FOWC- Refuse

Ragtag Daily Prompt- Goodbye

 

Peace and love-

-Kat

Are You Ready?

No. I’m not. I’m a band mom. My kids played pre-game and half-time at football games. They did not play in the football games! I sat patiently in the bleachers , usually talking to other band parents or reading, until the first half finished. I would periodically check with my husband to find out how much longer he thought the current period would last. If the weather was questionable, I would check my phone repeatedly, hoping for some indication that maybe it would rain (or snow, if it was cold enough). Since I was friends with the band director, there were times that I could be found on the outside of the fence by the field reminding him that it wasn’t good for instruments to be outside in cold, drizzly weather. (He did not appreciate my friendly reminders because like me, he wasn’t a big fan of marching band either.) While I was  a fervid fan of my kids’ performances, sitting on a hard, cold bleacher for hours to strain to locate my kid play in a group of 100 other kids dressed identically and across a football field for fifteen minutes on a Friday night was not my idea of a good time. So you can just imagine my excitement when I found out that ten year old C.J. was going to play football.

football sideline

C.J. has wanted to play football for a few years now and his dream is finally coming true. Although I’m a band mom through and through, I’m happy that he is having the opportunity to do something he loves. This will be his experimental year. It will tell us whether he’s got what it takes or not. He has the drive, passion, and determination. But it will also require him to exercise patience. Lessons already learned include the importance of teamwork and what that means. He knows that he has to participate actively in practices or else the entire team suffers. In a world that seems to go overboard in being politically correct and handing out trophies just for showing up, it’s refreshing to see that these things have no place in football. C.J. is learning to work hard. And he’s learning that not everyone is in the starting lineup and that he might spend some time in reserve.

In the end, whether or not he decides to play again next year, I think this will be a great experience for C.J. And on the bright side, he begins band in two weeks so if I can just make it through football season, there is light at the end of the tunnel in the form of band rehearsals and concerts and the joy of those early splats and blares that only a beginning trombone player can produce!

FOWC- Reserve

RDP- Fervid

Hope your week is off to a great start!

-Kat