A year has passed since I made the decision to take a pass on resolutions and choose one word as “the” word for the year as part of One Word 365. That word was FOCUS and I failed miserably. I started the year off with the most honorable and sincere intentions. Focus seemed like just the word for me. I pinpointed the 4 areas that needed focus and wrote out my game plan.
From Day 1, it did not work. I tried for nearly 3 months, making lists to help achieve the goals I had set to gain focus and every week I was carrying most of the goals over to the following week. I finally abandoned the project mid-March, feeling like a failure. I wasn’t sure where I went wrong.
Then 2015 rolled to a close and my Facebook feed was filled with resolutions-both funny and serious. It brought that F-word back to mind. What to do? Go back to resolutions I would abandon the 3rd week of January? Commit to FOCUS? Try a new word? Nothing?
I read my 2015 opening post- Hello, 2015!– once again. A few things jumped out at me. I began 2015 exhausted- both mentally and physically. 2014 had been filled with so many blessings…..so much to be thankful for. And when I looked back, it was all a big blur- so many major milestones in my children’s lives…in MY life. It was such a major year and I had spent the majority of it just trying to survive.
2015 turned out to be one of the most trying years of my life. I found myself being tested in ways I did not think possible and I was forced to take a closer look at myself and a few toxic relationships that I was holding on to. I had to face truths that I did not want to believe.
In previous years, I would take part in a month of gratitude every November- posting something I was thankful for on Facebook daily- but in 2015, I couldn’t face it. I didn’t feel very grateful and was heading down a slippery slope. The year ended on a particularly low note.
And then New Year’s Day happened. It wasn’t exciting or even noteworthy. My little core group was all together. Michael and Jasmine were off work, as was my husband. Kris, Andrew and CJ were all off school. And me and Beej just were… But we were all together and it was a peaceful day. No one fought. All my kids and the little guys were under one roof and no one was grumbling… at least not too much. Everyone just existed together and it was nice.
AND I felt it.
AND just like that I knew what I needed to do. I knew what went wrong last year. And I knew what my 2016 word was- GRATITUDE.
Last year my perspective was all wrong. Instead of focusing on all the great things in my life, I was concentrating on fixing things. I was faced with weekly to-do lists to make my life better or change certain aspects. I was going about it all the wrong way and somewhere along that path I stopped appreciating those millions of small things that made my life so much better than I realized.
The more I looked into this “new” way of thinking, the more it felt right. And right in a way that FOCUS had not.
I’m not sure what form this will take. My ultimate goal for 2016 is to take note of those little things and really appreciate each and every one. I’m hoping by doing this, that the rest will fall into place. In a perfect world, I will have a weekly gratitude post….. I’m feeling optimistic!
What does the beginning of the new year find you doing? Are you making resolutions? If you are a regular resolution maker, did you have a successful 2015? Or is your focus on one word? If so, what is it? OR are you just going with the flow and letting life happen?
Happy New Year!