Dear 16 year old Kat,
16 sucks. I know it does and I’m hear to tell you that you won’t be 16 forever. In fact, there will come a time when it will be a distant memory.
I know you are afraid of everything- talking to people, finding a job, your future, guys….. It’s all going to happen. All in its own sweet time. I’m not going to say that any of it will be easy and parts will be messy and hard.
Any day now you’re going to meet this guy and he is going to push you to the edge of your comfort zone and beyond. He will scare the living crap out of you and you are going to be convinced that he’s “the one”. You will feel this way for a long time…..but he’s not. He will be serving a much more important role in your life. See, he’s the one who will introduce you to the man you will marry, the father of your children. So, prepare yourself. You’re in for a wild ride with this one.
The thought of having children terrifies you even though you know you want them. You will have those children you so desperately want because your love of children will be greater than your fear of the unknown. You will be blessed with wonderful kids. Try to cherish every moment because those years will fly right past you and one day you will be looking into the eyes of your son’s newborn baby, looking so much like your son’s, and you will wonder where all those years went.
You will be facing some big challenges ahead and most will come through your children. Try to slow down, and don’t sweat the small stuff. And in the event that you succumb, don’t worry. When those grandkids come along, you will find it much easier to let those little things go. And while you are worrying about teaching your kids all those important life lessons, don’t be too surprised at how many they will teach you!
Try to step out of your comfort zone. I know it’s scary but like it or not, Rob (the one who is not the one) will make it a habit to push you. You might as well get used to it….
Write. Write. Write. It will be hard at times. Kids take up a lot of time and it’s really easy to lose your own identity when you are caught up in the Mom thing. But try to find the time to write- something. anything.
Learn to say NO and mean it. You don’t have to do every favor someone asks of you. You don’t have to go along with everything people say. Don’t be afraid to say no. And if the day comes, that someone doesn’t listen to you, remember it’s not your fault.
Try not to beat yourself up. At least not too much, okay? Just do your best and learn to LET IT GO!
Be true to yourself. Listen to your gut instinct- it will never lead you wrong. You will find your voice and when it matters, you will speak up.
You will probably end up someplace completely different than you expect, but that’s okay. It will be a pretty cool place.
I will leave you with two different quotes that come to mind.
From John Mellencamp’s “Jack and Diane”-
“Hold on to sixteen as long as you can
Changes come around real soon
Make us women and men.”
Christopher Robin to Pooh-
“Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”
Love, your much older self
This post is part of Kat Got Your Tongue Challenge.