Tag: Journey

So What?

So What?

As Kris’s hair grows longer and his gender expression becomes more feminine, people are asking “the” questions. (And if they aren’t asking in words, their expressions are.)

Did Kris change his mind?

Is he going back to being a girl?

Is he no longer transgender? 

What’s going on?

Okay, so, maybe they are asking many questions.

In answer to those questions:

No

No

No. If you aren’t sure, think double negatives here- No, he is not no longer transgender…. (Did I confuse you?)

I don’t know.

Thanks for stopping by! -Kat

…………

Just kidding. But in all seriousness, those are my answers. Except for the last one.

What’s going on? Kris remains a work in progress. When you spend your life living a certain way- in Kris’s case, living a girl’s life when you don’t necessarily feel like a girl, that is the only life you know. When Kris came out to us as transgender at 18, he only knew how to be a girl. Although we did not force him into a girl mold, society generally does a good job of that all on its own.

After transitioning and living his life as a guy, he knew that it wasn’t a good fit either. He was letting society dictate how he lived- even in the transgender community. If he was a trans guy, he felt that he had to stay on testosterone and wear a binder and look like a guy.

But he didn’t like wearing a binder most of the time and he didn’t want to take T and his feelings about top surgery were unclear. And he did not feel like a guy.

And that is how he got to this place in his journey.

He is non-binary, not really identifying as male or female but something different. It is a difficult concept for people to wrap their heads around. It was definitely easier (easier being used in the broadest sense) for people to accept him as a guy. Most don’t understand what it means to be non-binary, especially because it isn’t as simple as boy or girl. Many hold the belief that everyone is one or the other.There is no other option…. but there is. And Kris is living proof. Even if it’s hard to understand.

But that’s not the point at all. It’s all about acceptance. I was reminded of this when I was having a conversation with a friend, just trying to process it all. After sharing some of the questions I have gotten from people, my friend nodded his head thoughtfully and said, “And let’s just say that Kris decides to go back to using Kerri or feminine pronouns or both. So what? Does it change how you feel about him? Does it hurt anyone at all if Kris is Kris or Kerri or someone else?”

And the truth is it just doesn’t matter who Kris is as long as he is happy and healthy and ALIVE.

 

 

 

 

X is for …….

Blogging From A to Z Challenge: X or as I’m calling it Wild Card Day

The Impossible Dream- Man of La Mancha– Composed by Mitch Leigh/Lyrics by Joe Darion

“To dream … the impossible dream …
To fight … the unbeatable foe …
To bear … with unbearable sorrow …
To run … where the brave dare not go …
To right … the unrightable wrong …
To love … pure and chaste from afar …
To try … when your arms are too weary …
To reach … the unreachable star …

This is my quest, to follow that star …
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far …
To fight for the right, without question or pause …
To be willing to march into Hell, for a Heavenly cause …

And I know if I’ll only be true, to this glorious quest,
That my heart will lie will lie peaceful and calm,
when I’m laid to my rest …
And the world will be better for this:
That one man, scorned and covered with scars,
Still strove, with his last ounce of courage,
To reach … the unreachable star …”

Today (or actually three days ago) is X. After searching time and again, I kept coming back to Xanadu sung by Olivia Newton-John and to be honest, I don’t really have anything to say about it.

So I declared it Wild Card Day! Yay!

And I chose this song because I really did want to use it in this challenge- either for I or T, but didn’t because I really wanted to use the songs I did on those days.

The Impossible Dream is a song written for Man of La Mancha, the musical version of Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes. The clip I chose is from the 1972 movie adaptation.

This song has always been special to me because I grew up listening to my dad sing it. In recent years the lyrics have held an even deeper meaning as I’ve been along for Kris’s amazing journey. These words especially speak to me because so much of the time I feel like I’m on a quest, fighting for Kris’s right to live his life the same as everyone else. Everyone is on a quest, fighting their own dragons. Some days we win. Some days we end the day weary with defeat. Either way, this song always gives me the strength to keep fighting.

“This is my quest, to follow that star …
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far …
To fight for the right, without question or pause …
To be willing to march into Hell, for a Heavenly cause …”

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L is for “Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin'”

Blogging From A to Z Challenge: L

Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin’– Journey

Journey’s first hit single was released in 1979. When I hear the opening beats of this song, I become 15 year old Kat inside, who was pining for that bad boy who was all wrapped up in the fast and loose girl that I just couldn’t be. (And thank God for that! I don’t think teen motherhood would have suited me…….making me the mother of a 30-something and heaven forbid if they were a teen parent, grandmother of a teenager today! YIKES!)

This song definitely brings back memories of my teen years. I like looking back and recalling all that angst but I sure don’t want to re-live ANY of it!

What songs take you back to those good old/torturous teen years? 

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