After One Year

I have found that as we passed the one year mark of pandemic togetherness that more than anything I crave my alone time. It’s a yearning so strong that it makes me ache. As Facebook memories show up reminding me of those early days of lockdown, they seem so distant. And really familiar. A year ago I wasn’t able to wrap my head around the possibility of what was happening. It was frightening. And stressful. One of the few comforts was knowing that it wasn’t only me. Everyone was struggling to find their footing in time when had found their life turned on its side.

I thought I did a fairly decent job of adapting to a new normal that included less contact with the outside world (which I embraced) and more contact within my safe bubble (which was good too until it began to get old). As time passed it became easier to see where people fell and anti-maskers and guideline breakers revealed themselves. It was disheartening to see who did not practice safety measures but were the first to complain often and loudly how things had to get back to normal. It still makes me angry. The numbers in our area (and probably many other areas as well) would have dropped drastically if people had just done what they were being asked. Instead the very people causing things to drag on were making life miserable for everyone else as well as themselves.

As the country and the world are attempting to open up, every location in a slightly different stage, I’m not looking forward to it. I’m finding that I’m more calm when I’m at home. And I can only re-charge when I have plenty of solitary time. After a year here with my bubble people, I find it difficult to block out the sound of them in the house. Usually this would be the opposite for me and I would be subconsciously redirecting their presence to background noise when needed. Now it feels as if I hear everything. I’ve come to realize that my bubble has become the outside world that I would come home to block out. There’s been a shift and while I struggle to deal with it, I find myself searching for patience that has been used up for far too long now. We are all in this together and I keep that thought in the forefront of my mind as I work through this latest realization.

I’m cautiously hopeful as I watch my Facebook feed fill with posts about first and second vaccinations. I’m happy for those who are vaccinated, especially because they seem to have a sort of lightheartedness and hopefulness that I have yet to feel. I am relieved and blessed that everyone in my family has either been fully vaccinated or have had their first dose with the second on the horizon. I’m the last person in my family standing – still unvaccinated for now. Being in the last group…the biggest group…. the everyone else in the world group, I know that my turn is coming and it’s coming sooner than originally projected.

We still have a ways to go before things will get back to a normal that feels anything like the old normal. And in our house, we won’t be rushing out to eat in restaurants or gather in large groups any time in the near future. We will be playing it safe for the time being. But we are hopeful for that time to come when we feel comfortable and until then, if you can’t find me, I’m probably hiding in some room with the door locked trying to find some down time.

Fandango’s One Word Challenge- Solitary

Stream of Consciousness Saturday- starts with “cal” CALM

Stay safe


Grabbing Onto a Me Day

I woke up this morning prepared to face the day. I had a plan. I had a list. I was ready to go.

And then the first thing on my list stalled me-

The printer decided it had a paper jam. (There was none- I checked…….TWICE.) I did all the right things, powered things off and on, opened and closed things, removed and replaced things….and still the ERROR light flashed at me angrily and insistently.

I weighed my options as my husband offered remote tech support. This definitely delayed my well organized list. And it stopped me dead in my tracks because the very first errand on that list needed something printed to be completed.

Then my husband texted me words that were music to my ears…. or make that my eyes. We have been in the middle of a project outside of our house for what feels like forever now. It has been disruptive and intrusive and I have struggled with this, trying to keep my anxiety and aggravation in check. Well, unexpectedly there would be no work today. And that meant QUIET!

And so I scanned my list. Also looking at the rest of my week told me that if I did not grab this day, I might not get one until -July…. (College kids, toddlers, seven year olds out for the summer all lurked on the horizon beginning in three short days….) Did I need to do these things today? Could they wait 24 hours? Could I take advantage of this unexpected day of solitude and silence and freedom?

It appeared I could! And I did!

So, what did I do with this day?

  • I wrote a post.
  • I read other’s posts.
  • I worked on my pseudo sort of bullet journal.
  • I assessed one of my projects for our kitchen update.
  • I charged the battery on my “new” camera and took some outdoor shots.
  • I completed a project that I had promised a friend and arranged delivery.
  • I worked in silence.
  • I stretched out and watched a few episodes of my latest Netflix binge watch- Private Practice.
  • I worked on future blog post ideas.
  • I danced it out (Meredith Grey style- but in my own clumsy Kat-like style). I confess that Ari looked away in embarrassment on my behalf……

  • I counted down the hours until I meet my bestie, Diane, for a much needed girls night out.

There are so many things I could have done if I wasn’t going to complete the day’s original list. Dishes, laundry, preparing Kris’s room for their arrival, cleaning cleaning cleaning….

But I needed this day. I don’t regret a single moment of it because it has charged my batteries, renewed my energy and lifted my spirits. And although the day would have been perfectly fine if I had continued on my list of errands and tasks, it wouldn’t have been the same.

What do you do when you find yourself unexpectedly alone with time?

Have a great one!


Hugh’s Weekly Photo Challenge: Week 17- Calm

I have a nice peaceful view in my backyard. It really is the first thing that comes to mind when I think “calm” but then I was packing up Easter gifts to send to my college kids and I found a box of Cadbury Creme Eggs in the bag from the store. My husband must have slipped them in as a surprise for me, knowing how much I LOVE them!

As I peeled off the wrapper of my first CCE of the season, I felt a sense of peace flow through me and I knew this was IT!

There are SO many other things that calm me but right now in this moment, the sight of this package sitting on my desk does it for me. 🙂


This post is my entry for Hugh’s Weekly Photo Challenge: Week 17- Calm. To take part in the challenge or check out other entries, click above. 🙂