I blinked and it was gone. The month. Which is pretty hilarious considering time has slowed down so much it’s ridiculous. I’m fairly certain that each day has doubled in hours, if not more. I clearly remember the last day life felt normal. March 13th. Yes, Friday the 13th. I guess I should have taken that as a sign! And I know where the month of May went. It was consumed by that all too familiar thief of the times- The Virus. I can just picture it in my head…. like a secret agent complete with dark glasses, trench coat, dark hat pulled low over his forehead sneaking in the steal away with the month of May tucked under his arm.
After that day, while restrictions piled up on a daily, if not even more often, basis, normal everyday life just slipped away. In those early days I battled with anxiety in a way I had never experienced in my life. Luckily I got that under control and these days although it creeps up on my from time to time, I’m usually able to get a lid on it.
The thing is, I understood the need for the restrictions. They were for our own good. To keep us safe. To save lives. Maybe I wouldn’t die if I had it, but the at risk members of my family quite easily could. So logically I got it. Unfortunately in those early days, my anxiety did not.
In the months that have followed, I’ve discovered so many things. Here are just a few-
I learned that e-learning is the pits and I’m so glad I didn’t have to deal it with my own kids when they were in the 5-10 year age group!
It’s really easy to lose track of time. Although my month of May was stolen, I’m never sure what day of the week it is and I spend a lot of time checking the calendar, as if it’s going to shout out a message, “Welcome, Kat- today is Sunday!”
Living by Zoom meeting is a totally different experience than life before zooming.
It’s easy to get caught up in shopping online and spend, spend, spend.
If I didn’t want unexpected visitors before, I REALLY don’t want any visitors now.
I’ve never been so suspect of people that I thought I trusted. Face coverings and social distancing…. this one took me by surprise. In 2-1/2 months we have only had one person inside our house who is outside our 5 person circle. And the only house I’ve been in besides my own is my dad’s. Keeping him safe and inside (meaning not out in public) has been a challenge. (He touches everything and then his face.)
I found out what was truly essential.
My worry for the 2/3 of my kids who continued to work throughout grew in epic proportions. Both were essential workers- a first responder and store cashier.
Although my state has moved into the next Phase, I’m not ready. What little I’ve seen in the past two days causes me major concern. Face coverings and social distancing are being thrown by the wayside. For more reasons than I could list, people are desperately trying to grab onto their former lives and freedoms. I am not.
And last and most important of all-
While the world was shut down, life kept moving. There were birthdays, births, graduations, health issues, pet health issues…. some passed by with little fanfare and others will be celebrated like crazy when it truly is safe to do so.
And so, I’m saying goodbye to May and holding on to hope that June is filled with better things!
Yesterday I did a double take and turned slowly to look at the calendar. I had been looking at a note that I had written with the date said March 10th. I had a momentary lapse and couldn’t remember what month it was. Before my eyes reached the top of the calendar I knew it really was March.
And then it hit like a ton of bricks. That meant that in a few short weeks it would be April. Yes, I know what you’re thinking- well, duh!?!? All the e-mails and posts about Camp NaNoWriMo that were flooding in meant one thing- – – – the A to Z Blogging Challenge was coming! That’s how my mind works. I know it might not make sense but both take place for the month of April and they are loosely connected in my mind.
Doesn’t it just figure?? Last year I was determined to be more prepared this year. (And I’m pretty sure I had the same thought in previous years.) But it’s only the 7th of March. I have over three weeks to get my act together. I’m pulling out a notebook or journal or pad of paper and I’m getting to work. I do have a few vague ideas rolling around in my head so I need to strike while the iron is hot and the ideas haven’t rolled under the couch to mingle with the dust bunnies.
What about you- are you participating in Camp NaNoWriMo or the A to Z Challenge?
I listen intently to her story about the plushie that she desperately wanted. It was a unicorn- fresh, new, soft, sparkly and purple. I hear her describe how she felt when she saw it. Her face shows the joy and delight she felt when she relives the moment her grandmother surprised her with it. She reveals that she also received a plushie that had been her mother’s. This plushie shows signs of wear and tear and years of love. It is an puppy, with brown faded paws and flat worn fur. Before it became hers, it was kept in a box of her mother’s things. But now the old and new plushies are precious to her. They comfort her when she’s feeling lonely. With a tinge of sadness creeping around the corners of her eyes and the edges of her words, she shares that her mother died a long time ago.
Although I had suspected this, I struggle to swallow the lump in my throat that has grown from the size of a plum to that of a grapefruit in mere seconds. My heart misses a beat and I give her a tender smile.
She is only seven years old.
“I’ll silently stand in the corner and cry, on this fateful day.
I refuse to say goodbye because I don’t want to see you go away.”
It’s that time of year again! NaNoWriMo or National Novel Writing Month. The objective is to write a novel of at least 50,000 words in one month. If you are unfamiliar with it, you can read more about it HERE.
At 2a.m. this morning, I began my 10th year of participating. I’m unsure of my plot. My characters have no names- unless “she” and “he” count. I’ve written over 300 words. Not bad for someone who likes to plan just a wee bit more than I have this time!
I find that quotes often give me a boost when I need it so I thought I would share some of my favorite words of encouragement from other writers. Whether you are taking part in the NaNo craziness or doing your own thing, I hope they inspire you to keep moving!
“Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts. You need to start somewhere.” -Anne Lamott
“Don’t get it right, just get it written.” -James Thurber
“You might not write well every day, but you can always edit a bad page. You can’t edit a blank page.” -Jodi Picoult
“Ideas aren’t magical; the only tricky part is holding on to one long enough to get it written down.” -Lynn Abbey
“Writers are always anxious, always on the run–from the telephone, from responsibilities, from the distractions of the world.” -Edna O’Brien
And so November begins! I’m not sure how this will end but I’m determined to make to 50,000 words come hell or high water! Best of luck to my fellow participants!!