The prompt for today’s Colors and Letter’s Challenge is Radiant Rose. I think I have captured it in these photos. These flowers are certainly radiant!
“Happiness radiates like the fragrance from a flower, and draws all good things toward you. Allow your love to nourish yourself as well as others. Do not strain after the needs of life. It is sufficient to be quietly alert and aware of them. In this way life proceeds more naturally and effortlessly. Life is here to Enjoy!” – Maharishi Mahesh Yogi
“Are you fully vaccinated against COVID-19 yet? And if not, why the fuck not?”
Yes, I am fully vaccinated. It has only been one month and I was shocked to realize this. It felt like at least three or four months ago that I got my first dose. Wow! COVID time (as we call it) is SOOOOOO SLOW! No wonder I’m still having a difficult time feeling any sort of level of comfort without a mask and therefore not even close to going without. Especially as I see more people ditching theirs.
I have my own crackpot theory about a lot of the folks I see without masks. I think they are not vaccinated and just taking advantage of not having to be harassed about not wearing the masks. And I think the majority of the mask wearers are like me, vaccinated and cautious. My logic is that the antimaskers hardly wore masks when covid was running rampant through our towns- why on earth would they do the RIGHT thing and suddenly wear a mask now?????
I live in the Midwest- near Chicago. Our numbers are down and everyone around me is acting as if covid is gone. And yet, I spend most of my time with a six year old who is obviously not vaccinated. Maybe the odds are against me getting COVID and spreading it to him. But I can’t help but worry that I might. Besides, as long as he has to wear a mask, his closest adults are also wearing masks when out with him. This kid has been a covid rockstar- following all safety measures and wearing a mask for school and therapy without a word of complaint. It’s the least we can do. Besides, I want him to be safe. I would never forgive myself if I got him sick.
People are respectful of my decision to not burn my mask and attend the next 300 person party I’m invited to. My bubble people are slightly less cautious than I am, which means they have eaten in public places… but that’s about as wild as we have gotten here in my house.
Anyone who really knows me is not surprised by any of this.
I hope that one day my children will realize how much I love them. I hope they know that I’ve only wanted the very best for them. My parents were imperfect people but there has never been a day in my life when I ever doubted their love. I hope my kids can find it in their hearts to let go of all the damage I might have done while trying to be the best mom I could.
I guess I didn’t think that after parenting for 30 years that I could feel like I did it all wrong. They aren’t bad people. In fact, I think they are pretty awesome. But there are times when I think one or two of them might feel they survived despite my parenting- not as a result of it.
If I try to help, I’m interfering. If I give them space, I’m abandoning them. If I ask too many questions, I’m being nosy and if I wait for them to come to me, I’m ignoring them. And I can’t show emotions….nope, don’t get me started on that one.
I hope this is all just me beating myself up over something that has nothing to do with me.
It’s not easier when they grow up. Especially while experiencing major life events during a pandemic. (And being their parent during this time isn’t a walk in the park either!)
The bottom line is-
I love my kids more than anything in the world.
I will do anything and everything I can do to help them.
I think they are amazing human beings- kind, generous and funny.