It all began with the A to Z Challenge last month. Or actually a few days before it began. I’m a planner and somehow April snuck up on me. I was chagrined to realize the month was just days away when I’m the first to make snarky remarks when people are surprised when holidays just appear out of nowhere- you know- like Thanksgiving or Christmas or Easter…As far back as I can remember April has always followed March.
After scrambling and filling up more lists of possible posts for three different topics than I could ever use, I ended up choosing my Winnie the Pooh quotes. I put in the work, found the quotes, took the photos, made the notes, and wrote some of the posts. Knowing I had a major family event coming up in May, I felt confident that I could handle the A to Z challenge.
Enter the dragon.
It took many forms and although I might have predicted every single roadblock I encountered two weeks into the challenge, and being the overthinker over worrier that I am I could have formulated plans a, b and c….. what I could not anticipate was that my anxiety was not only going to rear its ugly little head, it was going to full-on take over. The prepared posts, or at least the notes, the grandson struggle, the parent struggle, the grown-up kids’ struggle, the event chaos, and the sick pup- it wasn’t just one of those things that did me in. It was all of them.
At times I was able to take a step back and look at each one individually. I could study it and determine if it was a “me” thing or a “them” thing. I was able to place it on a shelf and walk away. But those “me” things were a much bigger dragon to deal with. And when the “them” things snuck in as smaller slightly troublesome dragons, I couldn’t always swat them away. These are my people! I’m not able to sit back and do nothing when someone I love is having a difficult time.
I had to drop A to Z. There were bigger dragons to slay. And with time (which was only two or three weeks but felt like so much longer), most of those dragons figured themselves out. All except the pup.
Our sweet Ari has been dealing with medical issues for a few years now and as she gets older they are growing in number and difficult to treat. We have yet another vet visit coming up this week to see what’s next. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this visit will be simple in nature, not yet another ailment to add to the growing list.
Unfortunately, this dragon was there and we knew it. There is little we can do but live through it.
I’ve actually never read any Tolkien but boy does that quote speak to me!
I hope all is well in your corner of the world!