C is for Cart- tastrophe #AtoZChallenge

I should have known better. I raised three children. I went through the terrible, tortuous, tricky, trying threes times three. As I like to remind these little boys, “I’m not new here!”

And yet, despite all indications that taking Beej to the grocery store was a bad idea that day, I went. It began with his firm assertion in the car. “I don’t want to go shopping.” He proceeded to punctuate his stand by, well….refusing to stand when I took him out of his car seat.  I was determined to show him who was in charge. I carried him under my arm, no small feat when your baggage is a 34 lb. child flailing about and it’s icy and about 10 degrees out.

We made a grand entrance with Beej kicking and screaming and me trying to to stuff his legs into the  leg holes in the shopping cart. As we made our way toward produce, which was especially crowded for 8:40am, he kicked his crying up a few more decibels and his boots off. I tossed them into the back of the cart and continued walking. Beej decided to rip his hat off his head. IMG_2866The only problem was, it was one of those cute ones with those braided yarn things hanging down on each side and I had tied them into a knot under his chin when he had tried to take it off back when we left the house. (Oh yes, this battle had begun long before the parking lot.) As he tried to pull the hat off, his cries reached hysterical levels when he couldn’t. I tried to slide it over his face but it wouldn’t give. We stood there with him screaming and me picking at the knot that I had tied much too tightly. Once the hat was untied and off his head, he resumed yelling. As I would pick up a fruit or vegetable, he would add that to his never-ending litany. “No, I don’t want bananas! Put them back!!!” (Whoever thought it was cute that he was so articulate ME??? was rethinking that!)

People openly gawked at us as we made our way through produce. I admit that I was defeated at that point but I refused to give in. Over 20 years earlier, with Beej’s daddy, I had walked out of a store or two, leaving my cart of unpurchased items behind. I was more experienced now and I would not be deterred… or obviously defeated.

When Beej spotted the display of toy cars that are on the end cap of every aisle in the store but especially by the snack foods….. you know the ones. The doors and trunk open. They’re $5.99 each. I’m sure you’ve seen them! … well, he drew on newfound energy and reached his peak. “I WANT TO GO OVER THERE!” he yelled, pointing at the cars. I answered in a soft voice (frankly, it was all I could muster), “No, we are not going to go over there. You are not getting a car.”

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At that point, he clutched my purse strapped and wailed. I had the strength of a wet noodle and just wanted this ordeal to be over. I wasn’t embarrassed or upset or mad or frustrated. Beej was three years old. He was being three. He did not want to be there and he was making it known to me and everyone in a three aisle radius. I understood.

But we were there to shop and shop was what we were going to do. The only way he would learn boundaries and limits was if I made them perfectly clear. I acknowledged that he did not want to be there but we were not leaving before we were done shopping.

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At one point I stopped and closed my eyes, looking for strength. When I opened them, this was where I had chosen to regroup. Coincidence? I don’t think so. 

As I checked out, an employee helped me bag up my groceries and Beej flipped his switch. The storm clouds parted and sun shined down on him, illuminating his angelic smile and dimples and he even batted his eyes. Of course, the employee gushed and cooed at him. The electronic pony caught his eye and as sweet as pie he asked, “Please, Nonna, can I ride on the pony?”

Just as sweetly I smiled back at him and said, “I’m sorry, sweetie, but no you cannot. You screamed your way through the entire store. Maybe next time.”

And much to the employee’s surprise but not to mine at all, Beej returned my smile and chattered on about how he had been behaving (sometimes with a devilish glint in his eye) and how maybe next time would be better. And in the blink of an eye, the storm had passed and my sweet little boy was back.

Such is life with a three year old.

Although I have been back to the store a number of times since then, I freely admit that I time those trips during my Beejless hours. (Like I said- I’m not new here.)

And I have to admit that the 20-something me would have been in awe of my composure and calm throughout the experience. The now me just wanted it to be over.

Beej’s dad was my first three year old child and he was nearly my undoing back in 1993. In general, I find this little three year old exhausting more than anything else. I can’t speak for the other adults in his life.

Did your kids have an age that was just awful? ( I actually found the teen years to be more trying than the threes- but that might be because I spent 13 years in Teen Town.)

-Kat

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11 thoughts on “C is for Cart- tastrophe #AtoZChallenge

  1. I applaud your Grandparenting – whst hoping you were able to regroup from the energy drain afterwards. Being calm takes a LOT of energy, but it is still the best way. I watch my daughter get a bit cranky every now and then with the nearly 2 yer old tantrums, and I see me 20 odd years ago, and how I wish she could be me now – letting it wash over like a wave and roll away. Sadly it seems you have to learn that as you live through it 🙂

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    • As I recall, both B and I were pretty wiped out after that! It was a huge drain! I have tried to gently tell my son that he needs to pick his battles but he’s just like I was with him ……

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  2. Two is nothing. Three is what is terrible.
    When my son was about 8, we were at Sam’s Club, and he complained and whined about EVERYTHING. I gave him two options for something for an after school snack, and he didn’t want either one and insisted on something else that wasn’t appropriate as an every day snack (can’t even remember what it was), so I put the other two options back on the shelf and walked away, paid for the stuff I had, and walked to the car. He followed me out and continued to whine and fuss as I loaded the food and his 4 year old sister into the car. We were driving out of the parking lot and he STILL wouldn’t stop, so I pulled the car over into a parking lot and said, “Get out.” His mouth dropped open, and I said again, “Get out of the car.” He got out and closed the door. His sister cried because she thought I was going to drive off and leave him. He was too scared to cry, because he didn’t know WHAT I was going to do. I made him stand out there for a couple of minutes before letting him back in and telling him he had best not EVER act that way again. And he never did!

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    • I can totally relate. And your story reminds me of something I always remind someone who is harshly judging a parent’s actions- you never know what happened leading up to that point. There were many people staring in the store- probably thinking they would never let B carry on like that but they don’t realize that before we even got in the car, he had kicked his boots off twice while I was putting his coat and hat on, the lost a sock, threw his hat somewhere (so we were on hat #2), and unzipped his coat and removed it twice. (And this all happened while I was trying to get out the door to drop his big brother at school.) None of my kids kept undressing themselves as we were trying to leave the house like that and I was getting 3 of them ready every day! 😁

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  3. Way to go! You know don’t you wish we knew back then what we know now about raising kids. LOL! Keeping your composure is the key and not giving in to them. I would say that for me it wasn’t the terrible 2’s or 3’s it was 4! I don’t know why, but at 4 all of a sudden the independent streak in them came out!
    And yes raising teens much more stressful!!
    Great post. 🙂

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    • Thanks! That’s the great thing about having raised my kids already- I’m calling on all my past experience. I think everyone has that age when their kid really put them through their paces. 🙂

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  4. As I read your tale I thought, “Yes been there done that.” But by the end you struck another chord in me by saying the teenage years were more trying. They certainly were and I found my girls more trying than the boys. Thankfully they all grew up into reasonable human being despite me being their father. I have to say too, that having adult relationships with your children is the best thing, even when they ring you to ask for something.

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