Where I Am

I’m at a crossroad. I’ve been here for awhile now…..each time I thought I might choose a path, something stopped me. Most recently these were family members with health issues but those have been managed, or as best as they can be. When I saw Weekly Photo Challenge: The Road Taken and Daily Prompt: Ruminate, the two seemed to intersect, leading back to my crossroad again.

I never planned to have a career in retail and it wasn’t what I studied but that’s where I ended up for over 10 years. It proved to be a bad fit while raising three small children. I was blessed enough to have a supportive husband who knew that my heart was at home with our children and by tightening up the purse strings, I was able to stay home with them for their entire childhood.

So much of what I experienced while on the mom road was what I expected. There were school days, some sports and tons of kids activities. Having band kids, I spent as much time driving kids to and from rehearsals and performances as I did chauffeuring them to school. There were endless concerts, shopping for dresses, college visits and finally dorm rooms.

Over the years, the roads took us to some exciting and beautiful places and we created family memories all over the country, complete with all the ups and downs that accompany family vacations.

While I expected grandchildren somewhere along my journey, I did not expect them quite yet. My grandsons have been such an unexpected surprise. They bring me such happiness and joy that I don’t even mind being a young Nonna. To be honest, as I have been camping at this latest crossroad, they have been the reasons that I haven’t moved on. When you become a grandparent, you are able to apply your parenting experience and know what works and what doesn’t. You are able to rock your grandson much longer than you did his daddy because you know how fleeting these moments are and you can fully appreciate every precious experience. You are able to live more fully in that moment because you aren’t caught up in the whirlwind day to dayness of being a mom.

 

desk-solitude 1Another unexpected find on my road has been this blog and returning to writing. I have such admiration for those moms of little ones (and older busy ones) who manage to produce posts. I knew that I wanted to write, but there was never time. As I have been idling at this crossroad,  I realized that there will never be time unless I make a concentrated effort to write. I am learning to acknowledge and work to provide what I need in order to write,whether it is a quiet place, time, or a working laptop and access to Google Docs.

I know that the time to move is approaching and I will be taking steps farther into a new phase of my life. I’m considering classes or a new job or both. I want to spend more time on this blog and writing in general. And I definitely want to have time to enjoy my grown up kids and the cool adults they have become as well as the little guys and all the sunshine they bring.

I’m not sure where this road will take me. I’m a tad bit nervous. But I’m also excited. So much of my life has been spent raising my family- and I don’t regret a single moment of it. I do have to admit that I’m curious to see who I am when I’m not being Mom and where this road is taking me.

mountain path

 

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