As the parent of a transgender child, I worry a lot. I’m a worrier by nature so this came to me naturally. Sadly, the worries are very real and very scary when it comes to Kris. This article was out and about in the T world a few weeks ago and I began this post back then. Life got in the way and it sat here waiting to be written.
I Am Queer, I Am Non-Binary, and I Don’t Know What It Means to Feel Safe in Public
After reading this article, I asked Kris if he ever felt unsafe in public. He said that he felt he passed and that he was in no real danger. I reminded him to be mindful of his surroundings and it was no different now than it was when he was a teenage girl wandering around alone.
It really scares me that he isn’t just a little afraid. But deep down inside I think that he is. He has this habit of burying things and just shutting down. The first time he did this where someone other than me noticed it was in 4th grade but I can trace it back to when he was 4 and stopped speaking to everyone except us, his parents and his brothers. He has done it regularly for the past 18 years and if he’s closed shop and locked the doors, no one is getting in until he’s ready to share. On the subject of his safety, he is closed.
Back when he went away to school, when he first came out and was actually “in transition” bouncing back and forth between a female and male appearance, someone attempted to mug him while he was out shopping. He apparently broke away from his assailant and ran into the nearest store, staying there until it was safe to leave. I didn’t hear about any of it until after the fact. It made me sick to hear it. I worried even more about his safety.
When I first read this article, I focused on the dangers presented by strangers…. people who might pose a threat to a person who appeared to be transgender.
After yesterday’s Navy- Seal incident, I was forced to face another reality. What if the threat was not an anonymous person who was transphobic but someone Kris knows who was targeting him specifically?
Well, that’s all I’m going to say on this for now. I have to work on Writer’s Quotes and Wonderful thoughts for the day!
Have a good one!
Kat
Dandelion Fuzz 
I hate that I thought that too, Sissa. I would be mulling over ways to chk… And maybe even a police report on the downlow, just in case…
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I am not sure how to proceed. I don’t want to scare Kris, if it hasn’t crossed his mind yet. I’m poking around on the Navy Seals website trying to find a starting point.
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I worry about this too… a lot lately. Some school stuff.. nothing has happened yet but I fear we will experience it too. I am so sorry that people are so narrow minded that other great kids and adults have to be fearful for just being who they are. Makes me both very angry and sad.
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I agree. And the thing is, these people that cause our kids to be in danger are simply projecting their own fears and prejudices onto our children who have done nothing to them.
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Absolutely true. The kids are so innocent.
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Sending you some love and totally understand you worry. I am born with the same gen! Today I have been a nervous wreck just because my oldest daughter had bicycle training at school and had to bring her own bike! So relived when I picked her up and she was fine.. I cant imagine how I will manage when they are old enough to go out into the big real world.. hugs ❤
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Maria, it is the hardest thing in the world! I guess if you give them the tools they need to survive, they will be fine. And if you didn’t quite hit all the marks, it’s okay too because they figure it out all on their own. (And that’s not a bad thing.) 🙂
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I thought having babies was hard, but as they are growing up I am getting more and more aware that letting them into the world is scarier! But I am doing my best to give them the tools they need, and so far it seems to be working ❤
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As parents that’s all we can do. 🙂
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