Sixteen Doesn’t Last Forever

katgotyourtongue

Dear 16 year old Kat,

16 sucks. I know it does and I’m hear to tell you that you won’t be 16 forever. In fact, there will come a time when it will be a distant memory.

I know you are afraid of everything- talking to people, finding a job, your future, guys….. It’s all going to happen. All in its own sweet time. I’m not going to say that any of it will be easy and parts will be messy and hard.

Any day now you’re going to meet this guy and he is going to push you to the edge of your comfort zone and beyond. He will scare the living crap out of you and you are going to be convinced that he’s “the one”. You will feel this way for a long time…..but he’s not. He will be serving a much more important role in your life. See, he’s the one who will introduce you to the man you will marry, the father of your children. So, prepare yourself. You’re in for a wild ride with this one.

The thought of having children terrifies you even though you know you want them. You will have those children you so desperately want because your love of children will be greater than your fear of the unknown. You will be blessed with wonderful kids. Try to cherish every moment because those years will fly right past you and one day you will be looking into the eyes of your son’s newborn baby, looking so much like your son’s, and you will wonder where all those years went.

You will be facing some big challenges ahead and most will come through your children. Try to slow down, and don’t sweat the small stuff. And in the event that you succumb, don’t worry. When those grandkids come along, you will find it much easier to let those little things go. And while you are worrying about teaching your kids all those important life lessons, don’t be too surprised at how many they will teach you!

Try to step out of your comfort zone. I know it’s scary but like it or not, Rob (the one who is not the one) will make it a habit to push you. You might as well get used to it….

Write. Write. Write. It will be hard at times. Kids take up a lot of time and it’s really easy to lose your own identity when you are caught up in the Mom thing. But try to find the time to write- something. anything.

Learn to say NO and mean it. You don’t have to do every favor someone asks of you. You don’t have to go along with everything people say. Don’t be afraid to say no. And if the day comes, that someone doesn’t listen to you, remember it’s not your fault.

Try not to beat yourself up. At least not too much, okay? Just do your best and learn to LET IT GO!

Be true to yourself. Listen to your gut instinct- it will never lead you wrong. You will find your voice and when it matters, you will speak up.

You will probably end up someplace completely different than you expect, but that’s okay. It will be a pretty cool place.

I will leave you with two different quotes that come to mind.

From John Mellencamp’s “Jack and Diane”-

“Hold on to sixteen as long as you can
Changes come around real soon
Make us women and men.”

AND-

Christopher Robin to Pooh-

“Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

Love, your much older self

This post is part of Kat Got Your Tongue Challenge.

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11 thoughts on “Sixteen Doesn’t Last Forever

  1. Kat, I have written out something, and yet it is far too destructive to publish, so just know that I won’t be posting that. I enjoyed yours, it is way more appropriate.

    I will share that I told me 16 year old self that she should immediately give up all sports but cycling, and she should also quit expecting that anyone else is like she is. I confessed to her my deep fault of thinking that others are like me, think like me, feel like me, want to act like me…I told her that will become her worst flaw and destroy her relationships.

    I encouraged her to learn about being transgender as early as she could find courage and not to fear the only word we had then: trans-sexual”. I told her there is a reason her daddy tells her that he does not understand her, and yet loves her completely…that reason is dysphoria on your part, and ignorance on his.

    I told her that dysphoria was a prism that distorts everything, and warned her that no one else, and no one means no one else will ever get that the emotions and feelings that she is assailed by are not the same as what they themselves go thru. I told her that the language that she speaks and the language that they speak are the same…but that the lexicon is utterly different. And I warned her that it will never be the same for her as it is for them…and she needs to stop trying to make it so, right now.

    I warned her to not expect anyone else to really get it, that the energy put into that is simply in vain and will bear no fruit…apple trees never give off cherries…

    I encouraged her to not be afraid to pursue God and pour her passions there, for She is safe and accepting and is all things that she seeks, but to be wary of those who wear God’s name, for they are nothing that she is.

    Most of all I warned her to keep her crap to herself, no one else wants to hear it, see it or smell it because they are hip deep in their own…I told her this would be hard for her because of her own heart as a crap-cleanser and her function as a spiritual kidney…but her only safe place to place crap is in Mama’s lap…oh and I did tell her all about Mama and how Mama does get exasperated with being called “the” all the time (as in “the” Holy Spirit).

    Kat, I confess to you that I then wrote things of a very dark nature, and those I will not be passing on to her or to you here.

    Charissa

    Like

    1. There are so many thoughts and words racing through my mind right now and none of them will come out. And when they do, they are all wrong.

      You are a beautiful, loving, kind person who is in a bad place. I don’t know your pain but when I look at Kris, I do see it.

      I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing but odds are our 16 year old selves would not listen to the older, wiser US.

      Liked by 1 person

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