Five on Friday


15 thoughts on “Five on Friday

  1. I can’t relate to your situation, but I can understand how you feel. Its grief. A person doesn’t have to die to be lost to us, but the blessing is that it gets easier to deal with in time. Sending love and strength.


  2. Sissa…so often people make these comments trite and trivial because they do not want to shoulder the load and burden of friendship when it is heavy and cumbersome.

    Oh everyone loves it when the burden is light, and fun…everyone loves the tea parties and shopping trips. But the tear times, when someone screams out their pain in a voice that bleeds all over you and stains you forever with their blood, well there ain’t many who know that those tattoos of friendship are the greatest honors we can give each other…and receive from each other too.

    You just be real. Conform to the Hope that is in you, and in that place you can process all of your emotions, from the joys to the jolts, from the splendours to the sorrows.

    Much love, Charissa

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  3. “While the foundation and the basics of that relationship remained, we had to tear through a lot of layers to rebuild who we were and what we were with each other.”

    You are blessed to have each other, Kat. And blessed to know that razing and rebuilding are necessary to personhood and relationships.

    May you bloom,

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  4. I wonder if the person is still the same inside even if a different gender. I think you have brought up a very important point though that I have not heard discussed about gender change. Except I have thought of it with the parents who change genders or come out that their families and children have to get used to having a father who is now a woman and so on.


    1. It’s complicated, Deborah. Although at the very core Kris is still Kris, a lot changed when he came out. For 18 years he had been acting a certain way- whether it felt right or not. Although after a certain point he knew he was a boy stuck with a girl’s body, he kept it up. It wasn’t who he really was. He was doing the best he could with what he had. When he came out and then began to transition, he changed. It wasn’t just his appearance. He had to figure out who he really was when he wasn’t being a girl. Does that make sense?

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      1. Yes it makes sense. He was not expressing all of himself. We all grow and change during our lives but this would be different in that the person is making a major adjustment and so are their families. I think it would be that you are learning about a new person. Some of him is still the same but other parts are new. Even when I learn new things about my kids it is an adjustment. Kids can reveal feelings that we were unaware of. Then we have to come to terms with those feelings. This would be like that but because it is a big change there is a bigger adjustment.

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      2. Exactly. And in Kris’s case, he has gone through so many changes in the past 3 years. He had to learn how to be himself and that hasn’t been easy. We have talked about how at times it feels like Kerri was a completely different person and that while Kris and Kerri share a lot, they are also very different. He had to figure out what parts of himself he wanted to keep and get rid of what wasn’t really him. It has been quite a process- watching him become himself.

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  5. Kat I totally understand, I think that little hole I have in my heart will always be there, even when I should be happy and grateful for where Jake is now, like you I miss my daughter. (((Hugs))))) let’s hope the triggers lessen

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  6. sending you lots of love, and from what im reading you are dealing just the way you should. its okay to feel grief when you have lost something. and you did loose your daughter, you gained a son. but still you lost something you had for many many years. i cant even try to understand what you have gone through. but i truly believe that your feelings is not something you should just dismiss or just accept. feeling them and acknowledging them like you do sounds like the best path. sending you lots of love and hugs xoxoxox

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