More Than Just Passing- It’s Being

There seems to be a recurring theme in posts that I’ve been reading. This topic is near to my heart because it is something that my transgender child lives, as do all others. It’s about being seen as who you are. Now, I know that people see what they want to see. I also know that there is more to most people than meets the eye. There are SO many different directions this could go- relating to every day life as well as being transgender. For the purpose of this post, I’m focusing on a perspective that is often overlooked- that of what it means to be born transgender and live your life not being seen for who you know you are. In my son’s case, that means being born in a female body and living 18 years as a girl. In my friend, Charissa, it’s the opposite but then add on many more years living in that body and straddling two worlds while attempting to make it all work. At the beginning of transition, my son wanted to pass. It was so important to him and I completely understand why. It caused him anxiety if he didn’t feel that he looked male enough. It caused heartache when he was identified as female.

When he was finally passing on a regular basis, even if he didn’t realize it, I knew that it was vital for him to be seen as male. Not pass but BE. It’s hard to put into words but it’s something that I’ve noticed in the past year. As he comes to be more comfortable, he IS Kris- not that person who used to be Kerri passing as Kris. Does that make any sense?

I don’t know how to reblog 2 posts that I wanted to include in this post so I’m sharing the links instead. The first is a post written by my friend, Charissa. She talks about being seen. I could hear my son’s voice in her words. Can You See Me?

The next post is from Call Him Hunter. She is the mom of Hunter, 15 years old and ftm. Her post talks about being misgendered once as a child. Living Your Gender

I was born with girl parts and I’m a girl. I hate cooking. I’m not very ladylike. I like purple and pink as well as blue and orange. I love jeans and hoodies some days and dresses others. I have always wanted to be a mom. I like pretty things. Some of these things are very girly. Some are not. All of these things fit easily and naturally. It’s important to remember that everyone isn’t made that way. They don’t fit into the neat little packages we have all been raised to expect to see. They deserve to have their packages look the way they feel most comfortable and it’s important that we remember that.