Dear Parent,

When I first found out that I have a transgender child, I felt like I was alone. Unlike the other issues we deal with as we raise our children- bullying, acting out, smoking, drinking, drugs, pregnancy, bad grades, you get the idea…..I didn’t know anyone who had a child like mine. And unlike those other issues, it isn’t one you can begin to imagine. So many emotions. Not just my own but my husband, other children, K, my parents, friends, other family……the list goes on and on. All those emotions. So many people not understanding, not knowing how they felt, struggling with both of these things. And there was no one I could turn to who could say, “Yeah, I remember feeling that way.”

When I was first potty training, I turned to books, other parents, my mom- you name it. My resources seemed to be endless. I remember all the encouraging words, the useful advice, all of it, when I was potty training my first child. It made such a difference to know that I was not alone. Someone else not only knew what I was going through, but they had survived! Navigating the new world of being the parent of a transgender kid. Not so much out there.

Then I stumbled onto this video. It was made by parents from PFLAG’s support group for parents of transgender children.

And boy, did that video help! Here were these parents who had been where I was and they seemed okay!!! It made such a difference for me. If they were out there, so were others. And if they survived this, so could I.

But somewhere out there, another parent was learning about his or her son or daughter. Maybe this parent was totally accepting and kept moving forward without missing a step. (And there ARE parents like that.) But maybe this parent was like me- a little overwhelmed by all of it and needing to know that it does get better. If my experience helps someone else, in the smallest way, then it makes it all worth it.


3 thoughts on “Dear Parent,

  1. I have been very blessed with my children, only a little blip of epilepsy, which was incredibly scary at the time. But obviously there is a raft of information on that subject. This must be incredibly overwhelming, for you all. I wish you all the help and support you deserve.


    1. Wow, I imagine that epilepsy would be quite scary! I thank God for my husband and kids. We became a pretty tight group over the past few years. And my best friends truly are the best!


  2. I do not have a transgender child (that I am aware of) but it’s good to know there is support out there. I really liked that video. I can imagine that this life circumstance would be incredibly scary. I would be wondering all kinds of things… there SHOULD be books out there… someone should write them! Thanks for sharing.


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