For today’s blogging assignment, I’m supposed to tell you why I wanted to start a blog. I looked back at some of the things I wrote- dated 2011. Hmmmm, if I thought about it for, say 6 months or so, as I’m prone to do with some of my ideas, that means I’ve been thinking about writing a blog for 3 years. In case you didn’t guess, I don’t like to rush into things.
I used to have a daughter. At least, I think I did. When my middle child (a daughter at the time) told me that she identified as a boy, and always had, it changed my family forever. My poor busy mind couldn’t keep up with all the questions I was grappling with. How could K think she was a boy when she was clearly born a girl? How did she know? Why didn’t she tell us? What did that mean for my other two sons? Had K been pretending all of his life? Did I force him to wear dresses, play with barbies, dance? Was our history all a lie? What did that make us? How could I not know? If I was struggling, how were other people going to handle this? What if they couldn’t accept K? Did I care? What could I do to help him, his brothers, all of us?
Does your head hurt yet? Mine still does at times. I needed to process all of this, deal with it, figure out how I felt, you name it. Writing has always been my salvation, my escape, my release. It only made sense to blog.
Unfortunately trying to figure out the blogging world made my head hurt in a totally different way. And that’s how I got here.